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© DSFC 		BRING IT ON
CHEER WITH COLOR GUARD
by pat

Well, it finally came to be. For all of our talk about it, for all of the mentions it has recieved in other reviews, one of the DangerSeekers finally saw "Bring It On." Me. That's why I'm writing the review. Duh. Anyway, after all of the debate on this, wether it was better than "Sugar & Spice," wether or not Kirsten Dunst is in a self appointed rut or not, and wether or not this movie was stupid, curiosity got the best of me. Also, it happened to be on. But now I hold the secret. I hold the knowledge that other DangerSeekers are afraid, nay, too apathetic about the world of cheerleading to know! I have the power!

Ahem.

First I would like to settle the debates. "Bring It On" is far better than "Sugar & Spice." This is mainly because "Bring It On" was very entertaining, while I feel "Sugar & Spice" was a pile of excrement I wouldn't wish on the worst parts of northern New Jersey, where I hear the film actually did quite well. It was not better than "But I'm a Cheerleader," though as a recent DSFC favorite, that one is going to be tough to beat in the cheerleader-related film genre, even though cheerleading was less prominently featured. Kirsten Dunst was not in a rut as of this film. The role was lead enough to gain her box office credit, but she was easily able to share the film with her costars and give it a more ensemble feel, giving her an appeal to filmmakers who see she is agreeable for the good of the film, and therefore hire her. It was definitely not a poor career choice. Since then, she has done "Get Over It" and "Crazy/Beautiful." In other words, I'm dying to see "Spider Man" so I can see her career come in off the ledge and get counseling.

Was the movie stupid? That was a rhetorical question, because I don't expect you to go write me an email before you finish reading this article. If you want to, go ahead. It's not going to change the end of the article. The web ain't THAT dynamic, buddy. Yes, the movie was a teeny bit stupid. It was aimed at teenagers. Teenagers are stupid. I know. I was a teenager once, and was painfully stupid, as were all of my friends and, not coincidentally, all of my enemies. We didn't think we were stupid, just like any teenagers reading this right now think they aren't stupid, which just goes to show how truly stupid teenagers really are. A wise man once said "the greatest knowledge is knowing that you don't know everything, but not knowing how to remove a bra or make a bowl out of an empty Pepsi can, like those punks down the street seem to think." I believe it was Aristotle. Or Play-Doh.

Dunst plays the newly elected captain of one of the greatest cheerleading teams in the nation. They are so good, people come to games just to see them, especially since the school's football team is one of the worst. The Colts recruit heavily from them, they're that bad. She is shocked to find that their "original" routines and rhymes are actually ripped off from a team of black cheerleaders, in the tradition of Elvis, the Beastie Boys, and David Allen Grier. The originaters of the routines could never afford to go to competitions, so for years Dunst's team got away with it. Now, finding out what has been going on, she wants to set things right, which isn't a bad idea since the other team has decided to enter this year, just to embarass them.

After some other wacky mishaps, a predictable love story, and tough girl turned soft (played by the hottastic Eliza Dushku, who while we support her success, hope she makes a career misstep, then winds up doing a made-for-video movie or two where she takes her top off), the team pulls together like the A-Team making a tank out of a minivan, a dumpster, and second hand parts from Jiffy Lube, to create one of the finest cheering displays ever seen, at least by me, but my high school's cheerleaders were girls who didn't make the teams at their own schools, so who am I to judge? Also, I didn't really go to my school's sports events. Anyway, everything winds up happy in the end, justice is served, spit is swapped, and there's a quasi-musical number for the end credits. Big fun, enjoy yourself, then forget you saw it two weeks later. As a final note, Jim just pointed out to me that he has seen it, and gave it a semi-review in his "Sugar & Spice" review, but since I disagreed with most of his "Sugar & Spice" review, I guess I was just disagreeing with him having seen this as well. I really hated "Sugar & Spice."

"With a combined weight of 264 lbs, my back feels fine! Hooray, anorexia!"
THIS GUY HAS FIVE GIRLS ON TOP OF HIM. BASTARD.


"My mom says there are clubs where this is all people do!"
SWING KIDS


"My god, I'm almost twenty and still single. Everyone else my age is on their fourth marriage!"
THE LIFE OF A CHILD STAR IS NO PICNIC


"Yeah, we stole your music, but you took our sports!" "Fair enough."
NO, THEY DON'T KISS