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© DSFC 		CHARLIE'S ANGELS:
FULL THROTTLE
THAT'TH KICKIN' ATH!
by pat

The first one opened to somewhat mixed reviews. People complained that it was somewhat ridiculous, that there was too much wire-fighting, some of the stunts were a bit unbelievable, and much of the plot was coincidental or glossed over. If you felt that way, this movie was made for you. It was made to shut you up. Every single thing that I've heard people go on about when deriding the original is here, cranked up a few more decibels. I loved every minute of it.

The stunts are simply ludicrous. Watching people doing mid-aid flips to dodge bullets while fighting during a motocross race, and then saying "That couldn't happen!" is a lot like seeing "West Side Story" and griping because "Real gangs don't sing and dance before a fight!" If you go into "Full Throttle" and expect anything other than a big, silly summer movie, the only person you have to blame for not liking it is yourself. It opens with Cammy faking a Scandinavian accent and riding a mechanical bull to the tune of Tone Loc's "Wild Thang" in a Mongolian pub, while Drew goes shot for shot with a guy, Marion "Raiders" style, and Lucy fights several armed guards in a skin-tight outfit. If nothing about that interests you in the slightest, you've just completed the litmus test. Your presence in this theater will do no good for anybody.

For an example of how layered and intricate the fluff gets, one scene in particular gets my award for pop-culture collage of the year, and we still have six months to go. It opens at a monastery, which we determined was very likely the Playboy Mansion. To add reference to that, some kids are reading an issue of Playboy, and while I didn't catch the cover, I can only assume it contained one of the Angels. Carrie Fisher plays the Mother Superior. This is a double "Blues Brothers" reference, as it plays out like the Penguin sequence with the pointer and tiny desks, and Carrie Fisher was a co-star of that movie. Add to that the fact that Carrie played a nun recently in "Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back," and the picture she has of Crispin Glover looked to be a promotional still from "Willard," and the scene suddenly becomes something special, something dear, something of an advanced-level geek-check.

This is one of those reviews that really doesn't need to say much, since beyond personally enjoying the hell out of this movie, and the very simple reasons why, there just isn't much to actually say. Rather than succumb to the temptation to just start quoting it and giving scene breakdowns and the like, I'll just go see it again, and hope the theater is full. That way, we get a part three and so on.


*Ladder not included
3X THE COOL RIDERS!

"Come! Try and defeat the Legend of the Labyrinth!"
DREW BARRYMORE AS TIM CURRY
IN "THE DAVID
BOWIE STORY"

My "Snow Angel" joke wasn't as good, so it gets stuck here in the alt-text.
IT'S VERY HOT IN THAT COAT