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Hanna Ba-Hottie
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A FEW OTHER PEOPLE YOU MAY HAVE OVERLOOKED THAT WE'VE LOOKED OVER |
by
jim  Admit it, like very other kid raised on cartoons, you had a crush, at one time or another, on a two-dimensional babe who does not exist. Well, young boys the world over have gotten their first taste of bug eyes over a girl in the form of SCOOBY-DOO's resident hottie, Daphne Blake. Orange hair, curvaceous form, suggestive posing, you know the chick. Her dad supplied the gang with the Mystery Machine, but it was always that tool Fred that drove it around. Yeah, that's another thing that makes the charming Ms. Blake even more desirable, her pops was loaded. Many of you may be turned off by rumors that Daphne and Fred were, you know, together. Anyone with even a mild sense of Gay-dar, can tell you that that ascot wearing lug was gayer than a Judy Garland impersonator. The fact that the live action SCOOBY-DOO movie has him played by the equally obviously gay Freddie Prinze, Jr. only solidifies that argument. Speaking of the movie, not only has Sarah Michelle Gellar seen three of her "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" co-stars enter the hallowed Hall of Hot while she is banished to the parking lot, now, as she prepares to make her bow portraying Daphne on the big screen, she can stand there idly while a fictional character passes her by. Further showing the world that the bitch ain't hot. Sadly, for Daphne Blake, her career hasn't exactly skyrocketed based on the success of her popular 70's cartoon saga. In fact she appears to be trapped in typecasting that allows her only to play herself in animated Scooby projects. This is most likely the result of her two-dimensional acting (get it?) and her repeated refusal to take her clothes off for the camera. It could also have to do with the fact that she isn't real, but why should we cloud the issue with facts, huh? An interesting side note, as I was searching the Internet for porn...I mean research, I found a bunch of sites that had doctored photos of cartoon stars in the buff. I was disappointed...I mean, I was relieved to find that no such pictures existed of Daphne. It is now my mission in life (at least for the next twenty minutes or so) to scour the Internet and make sure that these dirty, dirty pictures do not exist. If anyone reading this has any such pictures of Daphne please send them to me at once. I have to see them...no, not me...I mean AG wants to see them. I just want to make sure they don't exist. He wants to see her naked. He's the perv.  |
   
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