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TOP FIVE CHICK FLICKS

by jim


1. Boys on the Side

Jim, help me with my boot.

It is so hard not to love this chick flick and not just for Drew's breasts. It's so well written and acted that you don't mind having your emotions played with. Besides, there isn't a more adorable moment captured on film then when Drew raises her hand after Mary-Louise Parker asks, "Who's got tape?". Crap, I just said adorable, didn't I?


2. Little Women

Jim, you're the best.

Winona Ryder is in top (and Oscar nominated) form here. The girls are so damned adorable (oops) and it's obviously a labor of love for all involved. Claire Danes rises above the rest of the cast in my eyes. I saw this film having no prior knowledge of the book, so I had no clue as to the fate that would eventually befall Danes' Beth. Even still, when she begins to cry after taking a sick baby in her arms, I cried with her. She was sweet and grimly brave that I pretty much cried through the rest of the film.


3. How to Make an American Quilt

That's way too much to swallow.

Perhaps the grandest chick flick to date. It incorporates just about every conceivable element of chick flicks and crams it into one film. They show quilting, an undeniably stereotypical female enterprise, and portray it as a nobel piece of Americana. It has relationships that span several generations. It explores mother/daughter relationships in depth and on several different levels. It acknowledges that females also feel lust and tells us that it's okay. Most importantly, Claire Danes has a small role in the film and she made me cry, just thinking about how much she made me cry in "Little Women".


4. Thelma and Louise

Guess what color my underwear is.

It's the Courtney Love of chick flicks; brash, hositle and unforgiving. Geena Davis and Susan Surandon give the performances of their lives and change the way that films geared towards women are seen by the rich, aging, masogynistic white men that head movie studios.


5. Weekend at Bernie's II

Carrying Alex out of the bar, again...

Think I'm wrong? Think I'm crazy? Think that just cause a movie stars two men it can't be a chick flick? Think again. Just grab yourself a film textbook and look up "virgin/whore dicotomy", watch the movie and then try to tell me I'm mistaken.

by AG


1. Jerry Maguire

It seems we're stuck or something...very embarassing...no sudden moves....

+2 points for earnest male character who learns how to live with female character.
+0 points for death rate (nobody dies of any sort of disease).
+3 points for featuring a single mom.
-2 points for being at least peripherally about sports.
+5 points for a soundtrack featuring Nancy Wilson and Aimee Mann.
-3 points for a soundtrack featuring The Who.


A fine chick flick in that it isn't exclusively a chick flick. Or it is, and just poses really well.


2. Erin Brockovich

Excuse me, my eyes are up HERE, thank you very much.

+2 points for the male character who learns to live with female character.
+2 points for character(s) dying of disease.
+3 points for single mom.
-4 points for Julia Roberts' cleavage (on a chick flick integrity scale, anyway. That's a +25 on any other scale).
+3 points for songs by Sheryl Crow.


Statistically speaking, one of the most universally appealing movies ever: snags the populist vote with its can-do storyline and the casting of Julia Roberts; snags the cineaste vote with Steven Soderbergh's direction (and Edward Lachman's cinematography and Anne V. Coates's editing); snags the female audience with a story of triumph-over-adversity ballsy feminism; snags the male audience with Julia Roberts's boobs.


3. Steel Magnolias

(l. to r.) Mrs Garrett, Beverly Ann,  Blair, Jo, Tutti, and Molly. Clooney not pictured.

+5 points for death from disease.
+0 points for soundtrack or single motherhood.
+2000 points for giving Julia Roberts a lead role.


One of the Rosetta Stones of modern chick-flickery (along with Love Story, The Way We Were, Joy Luck Club and Terms of Endearment), and probably the least "masculine" of my picks here, but a witty, earthy script, and some excellent performances make this an utterly classic movie. Stop looking at me like that.


4. Boys on the Side

Not actually from 'Boys on the Side,' but are you complaining?

-5 points for men learning to live with women (the female leads club Billy Wirth with a Louisville Slugger).
+50 points for slugging Billy Wirth with a Louisville Slugger.
+10 points for death by disease.
+20 points for songs by Indigo Girls (and an extra 5, since the Indigo Girls actually appear in the movie)
-30 points for female nudity (again, only on a chick flick scale; on any other scale, this is +200)
+100 points for manipulation (a near-death duet of Roy Orbison's "You Got It" - NOT FAIR!!! CHEATING!!!!!)

Again, a witty, earthy script and excellent performances make this a universally touching movie for men and women. I said quit lookin' at me like that!


5. Notting Hill

Up HERE! Eyes up HERE, asshole!

+0 points for man learning to live with woman.
+0 points for death from disease (+0.5 points for character in wheelchair)
+5 points for songs by Ronan Keating & Boyzone
+100 points for Hugh Grant


A charming, if silly, movie with a completely engaging, if silly, plot. Very sweet, never ugly, nearly always pleasant. Julia Roberts' best movie in years. She immediately followed it with Runaway Bride, but hey, we here at DSFC turn something of a blind eye. Okay, not really, but she did Brockovich after that, so we're cool, Julia.

by pat


1. Titanic

The water is freezing and there aren't enough boats!"

Saying this didn't wind up being a chick flick is like saying "Batman and Robin" didn't wind up gayer than "La Cage Au Faux." Just not what you'd expect from the source material. Anyway, this movie made me weep like a baby. Got a problem with that?


2. Thelma & Louise

"I don't ever remember feeling this awake!"

This redefined the chick flick. They weren't weepy women with a dying husband and no options. They took control of their destiny, and like women, managed to screw up. Hate mail can be sent to the address given throughout the site. Thank you.


3. Boys on the Side

"Oh, don't be such a hoo-hoo."

What else can be said about this excellent movie that the other Danger Seekers have not covered. Possibly the brilliant breakthrough performance by rap artist Ice Cube. On a side note, I am fairly upset that I have noticed two Whoopie Goldberg movies on my list. I must go bathe in lye now.


4. Notting Hill

"I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her."

This movie got me to finally like Hugh Grant, instead of wanting to just smack him. So powerful was his charm, I could actually go back and enjoy some of his earlier work. Also, it's pretty damn funny, and nobody dies of some ludicrous disease. Refreshing.


5. Ghost

"Ditto."

Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, and Whoopie Goldberg, and somehow this movie made $200 million. Must have been a damn good script and some decent direction. Add up the box office for "Next of Kin," "Wisdom," and "Made in America," and you'll see what I mean.

       
©DSFC
It's not unmanly to cry at chick flicks. It's unmanly to watch them. But look how many we've seen.