1. Joel (and Ethan) Coen

I can say nothing bad about them. I can go on for hours on the good. They make full, complete movies. Great writing, acting, directing. Their visual style, their rhythms, their subtext, all phenomenal. If you truly enjoy films, you already know and love them. If you don't like them, go rent "Eraser" you stupid, stupid person.

2. John Carpenter

I was raised on Carpenter, the man who redifined horror for my generation with "Halloween." He has proven himself with action films, comedies, sci-fi, westerns, all with a love for his craft and a skill and confidence I wish to some day possess. Because of him I hope to only film in scope 2.35:1, widescreen, cinemascope, because anything else seems like a waste of screen and film. Because of his pacing, suspense still exists in film. I dig him.

3. David Lynch

Lynch is a genius. Not even a mad genius. Just one who doesn't care if you get his genius or not. If you can't find the symbolism in his film, you haven't looked. No spoon will be provided. You may need to watch his movies more than once to really understand, but isn't that how your films get remembered? He will be studied in the future, after his output was unfairly limited by poor box office.

4. Tim Burton

One of the things I always think when watching a Tim Burton film is how fun it must be to be involved in the making of one. There's a glee, a goofy spark that comes off of the fact that he's this darkly warped, goofy guy telling stories he'd want to see, and people are getting them. There's also a cool duality. His stories are about outsiders, the misunderstood, rejects, yet even the bad guys are likeable. Entertaining at least.

5. Sam Raimi

Carpenter showed a new generation that horror could still be scary. While Raimi did something similar at first, he also showed once and for all that horror could be funny. There's a fine line between the two, as both primarily prey on the unexpected, but when one person watches a movie and lughs, while their friend is behind the chair, that's talent. Add visionary camera styles (he has types of shots named for him) and the fact that he and the Coens have frequently collaborated, and influenced each other, then wait until he wants to slow down and get an oscar (mark my words).

1. Tim Burton

The gothic master. "Edward Scissorhands", "Ed Wood", "Sleepy Hollow", "Batman", even "Frankenweenie", Tim Burton never met a misfit he didn't love. Armed with a great wit and a remarkabley unique visual style Burton continues to expand his range while keeping a true and identifiable mark on his pictures. His twisted, yet charming, sense of humor extends to his "children's" books, "The Nightmare Before Christmas" and "The Meloncholy Death of Oyster Boy".

2. David Lynch

His movies don't make much money and you more than likely don't fully understand most of them. That is the beauty and mastery of David Lynch. His labyrinth-like storytelling invites the audience to truly invest themselves in his films and repeated viewings are a neccessity. Seen all of Lynch's films? Then track down his fascinating book of artwork, "Images".

3. Oliver Stone

To say that Oliver Stone is controverial is like saying that toast is often made from bread. To say that Stone has lost his touch with recent dissapointments like "U-Turn" and "Any Given Sunday" is giving up on the man too fast. The paranoid auteur is at his best when investigating historical events like Vietnam ("Platoon", "Born on the Fourth of July") and of course, "JFK". Outside of this arena he is still able to turn out talked about films like "Wall Street" and "Natural Born Killers". Oliver Stone's filmography is worthy of a college course.

4. Mack Sennett

That jim, he's so daring, so intelligent, selecting as silent film director in his Top 5. Darn tootin'. Sennett was more than a comedy director. He's one of the Canadians the American film industry was built by. He discovered and worked with legendary talents like Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle, Mabel Normand and some guy named Charlie Chaplin. As a director, writer, producer, and actor Sennett left his mark on over 400 films between 1908 and 1946.

5. Kevin Costner

Mock me if you want, but I'll kick you in the balls. So what if The Roman god of Cinema has only directed three films? "Dances With Wolves" won a billion Oscars, "Waterworld" made over $200 million worldwide (not bad for a flop, eh?) and "The Postman" lost about the same amount, but really was a damn fine motion picture. I'm serious, I love it. So do pat and some other people I know. For real. What? Why are you looking at me like that? No, really, come back...screw you it's my Top 5 list you a-holes.

1. Steven Spielberg (1975-1993, anyway)

Okay, I probably couldn't'a gone with a more obvious top pick if I tried, but you can't really deny Spielberg's ability and impact on modern cinema, can you. I DARE YA!!

2. Steven Soderbergh

Having started off his career with a bang ("sex, lies, and videotape"), this increasingly versatile (not to mention prolific) director's work is best characterized by inventive, sometimes jarring editing, gorgeous cinematography, and above all and at the center of it all, an undeniably human core. Nobody makes sadness or isolation look quite as pretty.

3. John Sayles

With complex characters, simple, subtle camerawork, and a sharp ear for dialogue, Sayles's movies accomplish two things which "legend" Robert Altman's fail at: 1) they entertain me, and 2) they're good. Maybe that's petty, but do a side by side comparison of Altman's craptacular "Short Cuts" and Sayles's tight, engrossing "City of Hope," and THEN we'll see who's being petty!

4. Terry Gilliam

One word: Brazil. Case closed.

5. Cameron Crowe

I realize that, for the time I'm writing this (Fall, 2000), it's a very hip thing to count Cameron Crowe as a great filmmaker, and while that's true, let's not forget that before the excellent "Almost Famous," there was "Jerry Maguire," and "Singles" and "Say Anything," each of which transcended its genre, raising the bar for character-based drama/comedy. As perfect a stylist of human intimacy as John Woo is of outlandish action.