1. EDIE MCCLURG

She was Ed Rooney's secretary in "Ferris Beuller's Day Off." She was the neighbor on "Small Wonder." She's been in "Elvira: Mistress of the Dark," "Drexell's Class," "Mr. Mom," "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles," "Pandemonium," and she even got to be one of Mickey and Mallory's first official victims in "Natural Born Killers." You've seen her, you know her, and you'd cast her as the PTA SoccerMom next door too.

2. ALISON LA PLACA

She is queen of the sitcoms that didn't get their chance. While I wasn't too big on "Duets" it was quickly replaced by it's spinoff (would that be retooling?) based around La Placa. Very funny show. Cancelled quickly. She appeared in "Madhouse" with John Larroquette, where he saw her potential, later casting her on his dark, pessimistic, line pushing show. It was those reasons it was retooled and faded away. Then there was her work with Tom Arnold, on both "Tom" and "The Jackie Thomas Show." Only those who saw them know how great they were, and it will be our joyous secret. If anyone has tapes of them, email me.

3. ILLEANA DOUGLAS

She was a psychic in "Stir of Echoes," a prostitute turned agent in "Action," a vengeful sister in "To Die For," and various small best friend or assistant roles. She turns up everywhere, like Steve Buscemi used to. Therefore we can assume that at some point she will get a bit role in a movie where she'll be noticed, and a good 10% of the population will remember her name, thuse causing no harm for her status on this list.

4. ALLISON JANNEY

The other DangerSeekers have more or less covered her, our ultimate "Oh Her." She will hopefully play the role of "Oh Her" in a DangerSeeker film, seeing as we all agree on this one, and besides, she seems really fun to work with.

5. MAURA TIERNEY

I have declared many times over that "News Radio" is one of the best shows ever, and she was a key ingredient. She could hold her own against Dave Foley, Phil Hartman, even Adny Dick who seems to fail in the screen chemistry department constantly. She is now featured on "ER" and was in "Liar Liar," "Primal Fear," and "Primary Colors." The large scale of her work is why she's not ranked higher.But she's adorable, ain't she?

1. SYLVIA SIDNEY

She started out in Hollywood in the thirties as the studios replacement ingenue for the increasingly ailing and troublesome Clara Bow. That was a long ass time ago. Not content with her restrictive "starlet" status she abandoned the film biz for work on the stage. Decades later the bright comedianne retuned to give the screen a second chance. She continued working up until her death. She is perhaps most reckognized for her work with Tim Burton ("Beetlejuice", "Mars Attacks!").

2. ANNE RAMSEY

This gruff voiced actress will forever be in our hearts as Ma Fratelli from "The Goonies". Her trademark voice, the one that helps make her so memorable, was actually born from the throat cancer that would eventually claim her life. It was also the thing that stereotyped her as an old, angry lady. This typecasting also helped bring about her career highlight, an Oscar nomination for "Throw Momma From The Train". She died in 1988.

3. MAURA TIERNEY

In other news, jim picks an "oh her" that's still alive! How uplifting! Maura Tierney is so much the girl next door that it actually takes few minutes to realize how damned attractive she is. Her Lisa was one of the highlights of the grossly underappreciated "NewsRadio". This show proved her acting chops as she was able to hold her own against more outrageous comedy heavywieghts like Phil Hartman, Dave Foley and Andy Dick. Of course, her biggest coup may have been keeping up with the hyper antics of Jim Carrey in "Liar Liar".

4. ALLISON JANNEY

Quite simply, Allison Janney is one of the funniest, most talented, most diverse actresses working today. She first came to my attention as the preoccupied guidence counsler in hilarious "10 Things I Hate About You". Since then she has also played the other end of the acting spectrum, the haunting, heartbreaking wife of Chris Cooper in "American Beauty". In her queit performance, she was easily as good as Mena Suvari and Thora Birch, who have recieved much more credit. She also appears regularly on a T.V. screen near you in the highly acclaimed "The West Wing".

5. PATRICIA HEARST

Okay, okay, so maybe she's better known as the kidnapped and brainwashed heiress/terrorist of the radical Libense Army, but that only applies to the people who were old enough to remember the whole of the seventies or people concerned with "history" or "facts". To a new generation she is the ereeily pleasant supporting actress in filmmaker John Waters little troupe of actors. She has become the face for Water's portrayal of blissfully bland suburbian status quo in films like "Cry-Baby", "Serial Mom" and "Cecil B. Demented". She is easily the greatest terrorist turned actress of her time.

1. ALLISON JANNEY

Okay, somewhere a few years back, I missed a memo. Apparently, it was mandated not only that Allison Janney must appear in all motion pictures and t.v. shows from that point forward, but apparently, she was somehow inserted retroactively into movies I'd seen many times and in which I'd never noticed her. But then, all of a sudden, there she was. This tall drink o' water from Dayton, OH. runs the gamut from being an utterly gifted comedic actress (10 Things I Hate About You, tv's West Wing) to a searingly potent dramatic performer (American Beauty, tv's West Wing). I'd list more of her accomplishments, but I don't need to since she's apparently in EVERYTHING EVER MADE.

2. MIRIAM MARGOLYES

This woman-of-many-voices has had a thriving career over the last decade, in bit parts (Dead Again) and supporting roles (Romeo + Juliet), and also has the distinction of being the only woman besides Sharon Stone to kick Schwarzenegger's ass onscreen (End of Days).

3. CATHERINE KEENER

Along with the Janney Mandate, there came one for the world of independent film, making Catherine Keener's appearance in any indie flick compulsory. To my mind, she's never been sharper than as Clooney's ex-wife in OUT OF SIGHT, or as the object of everyone's desire in MALKOVICH. Good, solid performer, this one

4. JENETTE GOLDSTEIN

She kicked a lot of ass in ALIENS, then stabbed Xander Berkeley in the head in T2 (by the way, Jenette, you have the thanks of a grateful nation for that one). Then she died in TITANIC. Very sad. And LETHAL WEAPON 2. Also very sad.

5. BONNIE HUNT



CONGRESSIONAL PROPOSAL #61872323W (THE BONNIE HUNT BILL): It is hereby decreed that no romantic comedy shall feature an a.) wisecracking sister, b.) wisecracking best friend, or c.) wisecracking female of any sort, unless said wisecracker is played by Bonnie Hunt.